MONOLOGUES

THE WORLD’S GREATEST LIAR

by Philip Jamieson

Suitable for Grade 2

Stage directions

Alex is working in the shop when a phone rings. It is Alex’s mother and they have a difficult conversation as Alex tries to reassure her while trying to carry on working.

Excerpt

Alex

Oh, hello Mum. I can’t talk for long. I’m at work in the shop and there’ll be customers in here any minute now. (Short pause) Yes. I’ll be home at six… and yes, I’ll call in at the supermarket on my way and buy some biscuits. Look, I shouldn’t be using the shop telephone for private calls. I have to go…

Alex listens to the call and nods then shakes head.

No. Please don’t try to use the oven. Last time you did that you almost burnt the apartment down. Remember? We had to have the kitchen redecorated. (Short pause) Look, I know you’re trying to be useful. I get that. But just let me cook our food when I get back – please!

Alex tries to sort some things out in the shop while listening.

Hints & tips

  • This monologue is ideal for Grade 2 exams – but can also be used at other levels.
  • The character Alex can be male or female.
  • The telephone can be a traditional ‘land line’ or a mobile.
  • Place a table to represent the shop counter with one chair behind it.
  • You can use other objects to place on the ship counter as props.
  • When you are on the phone try to give the impression you are listening and responding to the other person speaking.