MONOLOGUES
EMPTY SEAT
by Philip Jamieson
Suitable for Grade 2
Stage directions
Mo enters a busy cinema to enjoy a film which is just starting. Mo’s thoughts are spoken out loud until the phone is answered with stage whispers. The buzz of the phone can be done vocally.
Excerpt
Mo squeezes apologetically past a row of imaginary people to reach a seat, and then struggles to see the film because of an annoying person in front.
Mo
Why does the noisiest, most annoying person always have to sit right in front of me at the cinema? I can hardly see any of it. There’s an empty seat next to her. I wish she’d sit there instead.
(Trying to see around the person blocking the view) And that ridiculous hat she’s wearing! It’s huge! It’s the sort of thing you’d wear to a wedding, and it’s completely blocking the screen. Anyone would think she’s rehearsing for an audition in My Fair Lady or something! Why would anyone wear any sort of hat to the cinema anyway?
(Frustrated) And just listen to her slurping away on that drink. (Imitating the noises) Slurp, slurp, slurp. How horrible!
Hints & tips
- This monologue is ideal for Grade 2 exams – but can also be used at other levels.
- The character Mo can be male or female.
- Place two chairs on stage – on in front of the other and facing the audience.
- If you have more chairs you may like to suggest the two rows so you can squeeze in between to get to your seat – or it can be imaginary.
- You could use a bag with a phone it in as a prop.
- With you voice practice the buzzing sound of a phone on silent so it sounds realistic.
More ideas…
